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Man, my old place was great. My yard had a sick ocean view and the snow never melted, and I'll tell ya why. A long while back, back when I was a highwayman I went sailing with my boat one day and came across the north pole. It was this crazy floating island of snow over the ocean. Well, so the Santa up on there was mean, not like the one in your dimension might I add. So I knocked him out, took his clothes, and crashed his whole island into this beach. Man, when I was young, err, younger I didn't mess around! Well, shucks thanks for listening to me ramble on!

-Seizure Santa
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Highway Men
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